lassst day of aug
[10:07 p.m.][Sunday, August 31, 2003]
Today had the potential to be a verrrry nice day, with the exceptions of some events.
Woke up bright and early for church so I took the earrrly bus. Met Cedric first since John and Kenneth were late, so we sat at the extreme side. grrrrrrr. John you're dead. Church was good! Haa. I always feel better after Sunday mornings! =) After that something meaningful happened. hmm.
Then Kenneth and I went to meet Fonny dearrrr at Taka. Along the way I got quite irked over something (that's the first event that spoilt my day), but nvm, it's none of my damn business if it's this way.
We had lunch at Tianying Express(grrrrr. who's great idea was that) and it tortured my poor soul. Especially Kenneth's noodles, pink soup doesn't really whet my appetite. Wanted to eat glutinous rice with mango..but was too expensive for cheapo me to afford. settled for jap pancakes instead. After that we went to Coffeebean to mug for a while before getting chased out.
Bought m)phosis tie up flats! =) feeling broke now but absolutely worth it. we settled down again at wisma's coffeeclubexpress. saw michelle there (yooohooo duckyyy she'ss.....****) hahaa I'm a blooody freaking hypocrite. like I care whether I'm a good person or not.
Nicky darrling came to join us then we studied for a while before Fon and Ken went off to eat dinner and buy his shirt, and I walked with Nick to buy Mac and I took bus home. Along the way on 36 I started feeling nauseous (I'm not pregnant) and headachy and all, had to get Daddy to pick me up from the bus stop since I was positive I could puke on the bus.
Well at least I know my parents love me. Mom gave me a massage and I'm glad they're very understanding towards my inane problems and illnesses. hmmm I guess I should be nicer to them too. they love me but they just don't express it nicely sometimes.
yepx..study study...so tired. shall not get affected because of something so trivial.
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laaa.
[10:18 p.m.][Saturday, August 30, 2003]
hmm..mix of feelings now.
don't know whether to be happy or sad. feel like an idiot.
ahhh..just don't know a lot of things now...there's nothing much I can do now..except jump headfirst into mugging.
u nickkk.stop asking me to date #$#$ now. hahhaa. it's impossible between ussss alriggght. so gross la u!
thanks jono for talking to me. for offerin me baileys (even thou u always finish it before I get to touch it), and for giving excellent advice, thanks babe.
depresssing. I'm burnt out and tired of life. but it doesn't mean that I will kill myself, so no worries.
time to call a friend.
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chem praaaac
[11:32 p.m.][Thursday, August 28, 2003]
Chem prac was a killer (1130 till 5 gave me severe gastric cos I didn't eat frm um, yest lunch), orchard road chilling out with all my buds (except jon) was great (Mark droooled and it was damn sick), and coming online was a mistake in itself for it killed my mood.
I'm about 1000% sure now. Anyway I don't care what other pple say, it's like nobody knows the full affair except me myself and I, and nobody has the right to insist that their view and thinking is correct. Nevertheless I'm thankful for all advice. But let me tell you, I don't give a damn if you start scolding me or sth because this is what I think.
I feel so revolting and detestable right now because that's the impression I get from you.
Like, thanks a lot.
[edit] hmm. God made Eve with a rib from Adam. So every guy would have one special girl because God made her using a rib from him... Without her his rib would ache because she will complete him. I saw the vid before but seeing it again made me tear invariably...tired.[/edit]
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blunders
[08:41 p.m.][Wednesday, August 27, 2003]
I made countless mistakes but the biggest one is not letting go of my past mistakes.
I feel so stupid.
Very tired of everything. Taking a long break from this by shutting myself out from everybody.
Will be back when I finish this internal battle between my heart, rational thinking and my conscience. And of course to start real studying.
I'm so sorry I don't know what am I even doing here.
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=))
[01:06 a.m.][Wednesday, August 27, 2003]
This is for you my dear friends. And myself of course.
No one can go back and make a brand new start.
Anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.
God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain,
but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.
Disappointments are like road bumps, they slow you down a bit but you enjoy the smooth road afterwards.Don't stay on the humps too long. Move on!
When you feel down because you didn't get what you want, just sit tight and be happy,
because God is thinking of something better to give you.
When something happens to you, good or bad, consider what it means.
There's a purpose to life's events,
to teach you how to laugh more or not to cry too hard.
You can't make someone love you, all you can do is be someone who can be loved,
the rest is up to the person to realize your worth.
The measure of love is when you love without measure.
In life there are very rare chances that you'll meet the person you love and loves you in return.
So once you have it don't ever let go, the chance might never come your way again.
It's better to lose your pride to the one you love,
than to lose the one you love because of pride.
We spend too much time looking for the right person to love or finding fault with those we already love,
when instead we should be perfecting the love we give.
When you truly care for someone, you don't look for faults,
you don't look for answers, you don't look for mistakes.
Instead, you fight the mistakes, you accept the faults, and you overlook the excuses.
Never abandon an old friend.
You will never find one who can take his place.
Friendship is like wine, it gets better as it grows older.
And I love you all too. big hugggs for all
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drooooooools
[10:48 p.m.][Tuesday, August 26, 2003]
day was monotonous, studying in rr1 alone till 3 then meeting KC at mpstarbucks to finish up macroecon3&4. my fingersarespoilt I cantseem tofind the spaceebarrand im typingwrongleeeeeeeee.
hahahha.
thennn came the highlight of the day! We went to parkway to get my clips, and guess what! (at this moment you're suppose to sit up in your chair and say "WHAT?!")
I saw Allan Wu! ARG!!!!! He's damn hot in person!
-drowns in her own drooool- PARKWAY? PARKWAY! Who will ever dream of seeing mediacorp stars in PARKWAY!
wooo...talll...handsome......droooolicious body...
And I met kellyn at the bus stop, she told me that Holland V cast was there filming,and Xiaoxin(Shaun Chen) was there too! AND SHE TOOK A PICTURE WITH HIM! Damnit.
I have this super big crush on him man. If I had his photo I'm gng to print it and stick it over my entire house. WHYWHYWHY didn't I get to see him...I'd have given up Allan Wu for Xiaoxin!
Okayokay. These are just senseless ramblings as you can tell, to take my mind away from a)studies, b)studies, c)studies, d)thinking of other depressing stuff, e)bemoaning about my lack of any exciting events in my life, f)wondering why I don't have a hot guy like Shaun Chen for my boyfriend, g)why I don't even HAVE one-
hahahahaa. Okay I'm stopping!
-whew-
heh. Better go mug soon, I gave the impression that I burned the midnight oil cos my mom walked in at 6am, my radio and lights were on and I was awake in front of my econs notes. But actually I fell asleep in this cramped position at 12mn and woke up exactly at that time to get some proper sleep. Hahaa.
meeting shihui for some serious mugaholic time in school tmr. wish me luck.
I need to do shopping too. hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
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=)
[06:20 p.m.][Monday, August 25, 2003]
Studied more today relatively to other days, but not as much as I would have liked. Darn. Better mug like crazy tonight onwards. Doc gave me painkillers so today was better, if not I would have spent the day curled up in bed.
Thinking of tmr's plans. Should I go to school to study? I spent the better part of the afternoon dozing off in front of econs. Bad bad bad.
And my monopoly notes are filled with all sorts of scribbles from last year, including tictactoe tt I played in lectures, this note from Kabu saying "KABU Nehneh was here smell the nehneh" written using a scented ink pen, conversations and the name of this guy whom I had a crush on last year. Haha. It's like on every page! See, I was crazy then, wrote his name nice and big all over my notes! I think market structure lectures must have been official cute crush fantasizing time for me. hahhaa. =) -sheeeeeepish- The last time I saw him he patted my head so brotherly I am absolutely sure there's nothing between us anymore. =)
If only we can backtrack, I wouldn't have done all those silly little things haha. But then it's these things that make us smile when we think back isn't it? It's true then, I guess we do have nice things to reminisce about, minus the shit after it. Yeah. Amazing how I see myself change over the course of the years too, the way I handle these matters. =)
Back to econs and chem. Hmmmm. Crazy muggggggggingggg time, no crap.
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sob
[10:43 p.m.][Sunday, August 24, 2003]
I'm bawling like a baby, thanks to this monthly plague.
It's primary spasmodic dysmenorrhoea, I'm 99.99999999% sure. I'm going to the doctor first thing tmr morning, 4 panadols + 2 ponstans + sleeping pills can't make me sleep in painless comfort. This agony the guys don't have to go thru, if you all understand you will appreciate the fairer sex 100000000 times more. sob.
church in the morning, then simply thai with kenneth, esplanade lib joined with ivy, then Nick, and Kevin. Bridge halfway thru, interrupted by all those events they were having. Had dinner with parents at Marche in Suntec before my pain threshold started crumbling and I started crying. Ppl probably thought that my parents abused me or my boyfriend dumped me or I lost my cat or sth, the way I was tearing and pushing the damn trolley in Carrefour.
My body has a very low resistance towards all medication nowadays, I think my stomach is this pit filled with all sorts of crap, the last time it had to be pumped cos I ate 12 panadols, it felt horrrrrid.
Anybody wants to change body with me for a while?
I feeel so bad right now I swear I can die. And I really do miss those times. yeah.
time for more ponstan, sleeping pills and a hot water bottle.
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0
[10:57 p.m.][Saturday, August 23, 2003]
You lied.
sob.
lies,lies and more lies.
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suddenlygoodbye
[09:30 p.m.][Saturday, August 23, 2003]
wooo.got my hair done at the hairdresser. I hate it. I only like it after it grows out a little. That's why I only went when the study break started. So no one will see!
Woah. something happened today and I actually responded the way I wouldn't have half a year ago. I've changed for the better I see. yiippeeedoooodlee.
Went to hosp to visit my aunt, she's much better. :) Thank God.
Hmm. Didn't do anything today, except read 2 chapters of notes at the hairdresser. =( Went to parkway with Jon, Kev and Nick for lunch yesterday, met Ibis, Ivy and Jo there. Aft tt Dahui gave Jon and Kev a lift back to school and me and Nicky went to MPH to rot. Haa. I was so sneaky. Sat down with this large men's magazine and looked pretty engrossed, except that my hands were fiddling underneath with the wrapped up Seventeen. Finally got it out of the wrapper and free of the damn gift thing, then I read it for free, again! Lol.
sheesh. No more bridge! -sobs- my hair is gross. Yay. Tmr's church in morning, then esplanade lib with vy and kenneth for mugging time. muggaholics soc formation to attain mugenlightenment. lol.
Do I sound overly optimistic? oops. hmm oh yeah, just realised you keep asking me out, better don't have anything up your sleeve because I'm not to be trifled with. -snarls-
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lxg
[08:21 p.m.][Thursday, August 21, 2003]
LXG was solid. great company as well. :)
my 4th aunt is in hospital for an operation. oh gosh. I pray she's alright. Shall visit her tmr and on saturday.
Bad week alright. Feeling an acute sense of loss.
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ambivalence
[07:35 p.m.][Wednesday, August 20, 2003]
Jon is back! Welcome back babe! :)
Got stung by red ants yesterday then I fell down on way home, so my ankle is rather swollen, aggravated by my old cartilage injury. gaaah. irked me the whole day cos my mom didn't allow me to go get my recurring injury treated properly. but nvm. she cut her leg this morning and the whole kitchen floor was covered with blood. I awoke to my dad in a fluster and I had to temporarily bandage the injury before my dad brought her for stiching. Hmm. She's still my mom afterall.
Yep. Happy for you nicknick. And ibis too -biggg smillleesss-
Stay happy alright babes.
We frightened Xiaohan during chem today in this new chem lab, I got Kaiyuen to hide in this super large cupboard then we left it open. Silly girl was curious and looked behind the open door, saw KY looking very much like a dead corpse and got such a huge shock we all laughed till we were going to cry. Goodness. At least the class is getting better these days, I think bridge has forged better ties for everyone. Pity it had to be during the very last few weeks of school. Last week. I'll miss a lot of pple after this.
what irony. I can sense this discomfort and painful drifting away. forget it..I won't blame you. am just very tired of trying to keep it going...
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condolences.
[08:55 p.m.][Tuesday, August 19, 2003]
and so the sneezing fit never ceases. my nose is running everywhere.
Hyperventilated in school because of - okay I shall not say since it's a super stupid reason. But I turned really red.
yes, and on a more depressing note. my sister's good friend's dad passed away yesterday. my deepest condolences. sigh. death hits us so close to the heart doesn't it. and the poor girl is barely 12, with her mom recently retrenched (damn that PSA). I cannot and never will understand that sort of pain which hits a family, yet I still feel so bad for them. Why does suffering occur? I've been asking that for years, but I never did get an answer until today.
God allows pain and suffering in our world to alert us to the problem of sin, to direct us to respond to Him in faith and hope, to shape us to be more like Christ, and to unite us so that we will help each other.
I hope the girl and her family will pull through. Death is always painful. But it is also something that has to happen one day. That is, natural death, not the abrupt ending of one's life through suicide. Saddening to know there's yet another happening, and like I said before, it's a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Sigh. Treasure your lives alright?
biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig siggggggggggggh
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random.
[09:44 p.m.][Monday, August 18, 2003]
(1) Had to wash the cars even though I was sick, the hose was spoilt and I ended up getting drenched like a chicken. [gives myself a big dose of self pity]
(2) Because of that I started sneezing and ended up throwing up. Foul taste of bile made me tear. Ended up with my mom stuffing dinner down my throat cos I didn't want to eat. [double dose of self-pity]
(3) I still have to go to school tmr. [triple dose of self-pity]
(4) 2 years ago, Kenneth and I steadfastly rejected all invitations to go to church. At most we'd try to fleece Enyi out of a dinner in exchange for one try. Now we're fighting over which day to go. The irony of it all.
(5) Is it possible to love someone and yet knowing it's all futile since it's one way? To let the person lead their own life, with you totally not existing in it? To let the person go, see the person happy with someone else?
(6) Yes, it is.
But oh, the pain of it all.
(7) Why do people still continue to do things that they know entails a high amount of risk? Are the rewards that enticing? Or the process?
(8) Old nightmare returns: Dreamt that I really did get leukemia (this is a constant fear because of family history and my low bp+anaemia) and was lying on a hospital bed on a drip with all my hair gone, everyone slipping away, and my breath getting weaker.
(9) Reality is not much far off. I'm slipping away from everyone else.. My hair is dropping off- okay I digress.
(10) I do not live only for myself anymore. =)
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sick.
[04:17 p.m.][Monday, August 18, 2003]
Happy Birthday Yirong Baby! + Zhirong of course. :)
Yep, was feeling very bad at school hence I came home at 12. Hope you're better now Shihui. Take care girl..Took 4 panadols in total and a nap which only served to exacerbate my migraine plus tummyache. I'm not visiting the doctor, no matter what.
Friday was spent in Orchard with the guys in a muchly futile attempt in getting YR's present(s). On Saturday I went to Indoor Stadium with Esther for Hillsongs, which turned out wonderful and very enjoyable. Came home feeling extremely good, I still remember. Hmm, pity it didn't last as long as I would have liked it to. Went to church again on Sunday, this time with John and Kenneth, and John's (irritating) friend Ian. haha. Kenneth thinks they're sleeping together, lol. Chuch was good. Had lunch before heading to Esplanade Library to study with Ivy and Kenneth. He left midway and Ivy and I decided to give up and walk around instead. :) Finally got home after much walking and in conclusion: I had a good weekend, yum.
Spent the night yesterday doing YR's card, and when I finally did lie down to sleep ,random thoughts and memories rushed through my head. Teared momentarily but I guess we shouldn't dwell on unhappy moments. It doesn't matter now, my decision. I know I made the right one nevertheless. Thanks for opening up my eyes.
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escaping.
[09:07 p.m.][Thursday, August 14, 2003]
I give up.
Decadence.
Bridge, songs on repeat mode, Hugo boss, chocolate coated gummies and endless ramblings sustain me these days.
Am I making a mistake saying yes to you? Do I not already know what is going to happen? Haven't you been sending mixed signals right from the start? I always say it's the biggest blunder of my life, and I still haven't learnt how to confront this. I always avoid it and shrug it aside, willfully erecting a wall of pseudo oblivion to this.. stigma. Do I not already know who exactly you are?
why do I always foolishly walk into situations I know I will cry over in the end?
And it doesn't help that I am really at a complete loss, in retrospection it contradicts what I've been trying to tell people. Escapism shouldn't be the case. But it is and truth is, reality stings.
And you're not making it any easier for me..because somehow you deny my presence. I feel it..and I'll make it simpler. I never knew someone could be so screwed up like me. If it matters, I think I need a stabilizing force before I stop screwing everything else.
So many if onlys. If only I could turn back time. If only I could say no. If only I could convince myself to do what I tell others. If only I could be someone better. If only.
Not much use isn't it. What good is there escaping into this fantasy world that only serves to distract but doesn't nip the problem? Maybe I could start by taking control of my life.
Back to my music and decadence.
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rr2
[10:14 p.m.][Wednesday, August 13, 2003]
gaaaarrrggggggh.
studied in rr2 with nicky and kev, plus did some nonsense with KH and his friend Michelle today. She's nice! Left a note on my lipids notes =) Played alot of bridge during supposed math+econs lecture, then after school in between 'studying'. =(
chem lect test is screwed.
Talked to Nicky on the way home cos I walked from school. Hmm I support you darling but pleaseeeee know what you doing alright babe. Yeah but actually I'm really sad...not happy inside..how to be happy cos I get affected by ppl around me. Plus myself. And the ppl around me aren't all exactly very cheerful now...Yes baby..set them free. I guess that's what we both have to do...Nvm bestest we will get thru everything...I hope.
Eyes stinging. Head spinning. Back aching. Heart sorely......lacking.
Don't know what to do any longer. Just want it all to stop. Is this what being alone feels like?
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tribute :)
[10:17 p.m.][Monday, August 11, 2003]
hey there big bro. =) yeaa its you Lionel. Guess you've seen me grow up since I was this stupid little ignorant kid back in DHS when I was just in Sec1. But boy I've grown (and matured as well).
And I'm glad for you being here, this older bro that I never had, this invaluable teacher providing guidance and support and a listening ear when I was down or doing crazy things.
Just talking to me on the phone, like when I was so excited about my 16th birthday date, or you telling me jokes (ahem) online about certain ppl, all these I treasure and I see you as a very big influence in my life. I owe my saxophone playing standard to you! That's already something you should be proud for, you produced a outstanding student! (I'm so bhb)
When things get you down don't think of the sad things alright? We have so many friends around us sometimes I feel so blessed just monkeying around. Whenever I need to rant or just confide in somebody your name always pops up amongst one of the first few.
Nice people always end up last. But I also believe that nice ppl deserve and will get the best. Happiness awaits all those who are patient and nice sweet pple. =) And you are!
I'm not being exceptionally nice (don't get too touched I'm always this nice), but I hope you'll see the rainbow that comes out after the rain, and then at the end of the rainbow is the pot of gold that you duly deserve. =)
haha. I hope I can practice what I preach too. Life can be wonderful. Love you big bro! :)
Rest don't get jealous, I love you all to the power of infinity as well! You know who you all are ;)
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--
[09:45 p.m.][Monday, August 11, 2003]
so alone.
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suuunnnday!
[09:44 p.m.][Sunday, August 10, 2003]
Oh yeah. wanted to do this but it slipped my mind. Sorry!
Happy Belated 21st Birthday Lionel!
not a bad Sunday. Though I gave sax alum outing a miss. =( Had lots of math to catch up on, and probably my Mom would have started another screamfest if I'd asked. So yeah, it was stats plus Anaconda on teevee for company the entire day. Hope they enjoyed themselves. -biggg sigh-
Having a splitting headache again, my sleep keeps getting interrupted and I keep waking up. Arg. No sleeping pills this time. It's screwing my brains up PLUS my skin. baaah.
Wonder whether my birthday this year would be just a normal day. Oh of course it wouldn't, it's gonna be A Level Chem Practical alright. Would be very lucky if I even got a test tube for my present. =( oh well. What can I do since my birthday is during exam period? Just gonna pass by in a flash, nothing significant as usual. Hmm. If only I can spend it with someone I really want to. dreamy sigh
Going church with John, Kenneth and Enyi next sat. Heh. Now rewind to 2 years ago, same thing different reactions. Haha.
K nicky, I'm sorry I didn't reply you yest..was dyeing my hair and my hp was upstairs! was it me you were referring to? I'm sorrry I value you very much as my bestest alright babe?
Bet Jon's having loads of fun there, better miss all of us or else. =)
crazy week ahead with maths test and chem test. grrr. push on!
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National Day
[08:23 p.m.][Saturday, August 9, 2003]
Happy Birthday Singapore!
Heh. Spectacular fireworks display, so dazzling! Now I'm inspired to get NDP tickets next year =) Soak up the atmosphere and all heh.
I'm having an outbreak! oh no. I neeed lotsss and lotssss of sleep to get my skin back. I think I need a paper bag to cover my head when I go out now... =(
Hmm. Craving for haagen daz and chocolate fondue now. arggggg -tears hair out-
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national day eve
[12:44 a.m.][Saturday, August 9, 2003]
event horizon is gory and scary now I can't sleep! help.
Had National Day celebs at VJ today and watched some concert. Nicky and Zhao weren't here, and it would have been totally boring if not for Yirong to talk to. They were having mass dance so we went to play bridge and got stopped by Mr. Seet. Oops.
Went to Warrens after that to swim with JR, then ate dinner and a little of Lot1 before heading home dead beat and much blacker. :)
Swimming is good.
I'm dangerously addicted to bridge and freecell. This is baddd.
=)
Hmm pondering over some stuff now. But again, what for? Makes me even more worrisome I think.
Anyway, overall good day today. =) Yah not mentioning the bacardi breezer shared with JR just now! haha haven't touched any of it for quite a while, just didn't see the need to drink. But a little won't hurt ;)
Gotta do a lot of housework tmr, then study and catch the NDP on teevee. How interesting.
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-
[07:22 p.m.][Thursday, August 7, 2003]
sometimes I wish you'd talk to me about school and life and stuff instead of yelling at me and calling me stupid.
you don't have to make me feel so useless everytime you call me downright degrading names.
I don't want to feel this way but I can't not hate you for the way things are. Why are things so strained when they shouldn't be this way?
I don't want to feel so much anger and worthlessness when I shouldn't. I really tried my best to be the daughter you want. But I really can't and I'm so tired.
It's times like this when I feel so alone. the crumbling facade, the endless laughter all hide nothing but emptiness.
I so want to retreat into my shell and leave everything else behind...
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gargh.
[08:15 p.m.][Wednesday, August 6, 2003]
Went blog surfing. Hmm. Found someone's blog (whom I knew extremely superficially back then), she talked about multiple infatuations and true love for the current guy sorta thing. Woah. How. Overwhelming.
17 years of age and hmm. In stark contrast I found yet another one who wanted to reserve her first experience (relationship, not that you sicko) cos she reserves her love for the one. Extremely strong faith as well, and I respect that.
Valuable insight to who she was as a person, not just a face that I see often. Got me thinking lots, but who am I to comment? What do I know? hah.
Till now, after 2 guys, but nothing more than a kid I suppose. Idealistic dreamy far-fetched fantasies. I guess nothing ever works out huh. Told someone once I think I'm probably the kind of idiot who gets dumped by her fiance (if there ever is gonna be one) weeks before her wedding and then be stupefied and have a mental breakdown and just turn into a cynical pessimistic spinster.
but then again, I already am.
Just had a huge quarrel with my mom. With her yelling that I was going to burn down the house. I just forgot, you don't have to bloody confiscate it. arg. I shall not curse nor swear.
And I have the right not to lend my stuff to her, you don't have the right to demand that I do since you didn't buy that for me. I just hate the way you're treating me. Why do you bother even asking me when you don't accept a no?
When I'm turning 21 I'm moving out cos you just don't respect my decisions at all. I'm not a kid anymore I know what I'm doing you control every single thing of my life as if I'm a dumb retard.
I hate the way you make me put up a front in front of your friends so that you wouldn't lose face. I hate the way you degrade me then parade my results when they're good and insult me in front of everyone else when they're bad. When I get 6 points you go around telling everyone else how I could have gotten straight A1s instead and how much money you have invested in my tuition and I'm still not the model student. When I get DEEO you go around telling everyone I'm a stupid hopeless case and how much smarter your other daughter is. I hate it when you say you must have picked me up from the dustbin since I'm not pretty nor intelligent nor a filial pious daughter in your eyes. You don't trust me at all. Have I not been trying to earn your trust my whole life?
If you are so disgruntled you might as well kick me out, maybe your life would be less of a headache and nobody will try to burn down your house.
Whatever.
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i'll be there
[06:50 p.m.][Monday, August 4, 2003]
so don't you bring me down today
This has been bugging me for the entire week already.. My 2 best friends are going overseas to study. Which means we'll all be separated for quite some time. And I hope our friendship can survive this, cos I'll miss them like crazy. As luck would have it I still have my bestest Nicky here, plus loads of other friends who are sooo sweet too.
This is it. I'm going for Law. No shit. Even if it means me turning into a nerdy geek-mughead. 12 years of ambition, I could say it's nearly lifelong since I'm merely 18 yea?
Heard about the daunting challenges lawyers have to face. But I don't want to be any other paltry legal assistant crap. Career options are fairly limited as well here, but if I believe in what I'm doing...who cares.
On a lighter note, my maid just left for the Philippines this morning. So I'm assigned my share of housework. And it includes watering the entire garden (I HAVE A LOT OF PLANTS!), washing both cars, alternate days cooking dinner then washing up the kitchen(better get life insurance before they eat what I whip up).
gosh. It's not fair! -wails-
Went out with Yingni today after school to Parkway to get my hairdye plus do some investments, ;) haha. Where's my other triplet?!
Hmm. Shall dye my hair on Saturday or sth since I'm swimming on Wed and am thinking of dropping by my new house on Friday :)
hey bestest. Hope you're really not affected by it yea. hugggs I offer you my second bestest girlfriend alright?
Oh no. Chem mock practical tmr. Then econs test on Wed. Hectic week again, I need sleep before I turn into a crazed rest-deprived nutcase. Oh then again I already have. Haha. Proof: Econs lecture, with me trying to take on a role as a crazy pregnant woman. :)
Yeah. Ironic happenings I prognosticate for the rest of the week, just like the last.
off to erm, mop the floor.
-peaceout-
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crazy
[11:52 a.m.][Saturday, August 2, 2003]
we sent jono off on thursday night! :( miss you boy. There's no one to irritate me now and do shit during chem. Hope you're having fun over there yea.
And it was really dumb. -rolls eyes-
Waited for close to 40 minutes at Eunos Mrt, thinking there was a direct train. -smacks myself-
Gosh and Jon was supposed to have reached the airport at 9.50pm..and we were still stranded there. luckily we took the damn train and found out we had to change at Tanah Merah!
GOODNESS.
Went there, gave Jonny the book, took some group photos, then we sent him off. Awww. Do us proud boy.
After that Dahui drove me, Kev and JR home. cooool.
Went to school yesterday feeling extremely groggy. Day passed by in a blur, and Ms Tay was in an exceptionally good mood. I wonder whether cos Jon's missing? :)
After school I did some studying in the reading room with Yirong behind me, wasn't very fruitful cos I'm laggin like hell and it was quite a short time.
After that me and JR headed to Wisma, according to Fon, to queue up and get the free goodie bag. BUT when we reached there, it was a crazy mess. The queue started at Topshop doors, and we were at FLASHnSPLASH! We queued for around 40 minutes, and by then the queue had snaked around the entire 3rd floor and had gone one full circle.
By the time we got in, the stores was chaotic. People were pushing around (I got pushed by this woman with HER breasts), they were in various stages of undress cos the changing rooms were packed so they just tried everything on outside.
Topshop was really bad, the queue to pay was incredible. I am claustrophobic! JR managed to get a tee and a shirt for slightly under $60 I think. By the time Fon got in, TOPSHOP was like this battle field.
Made our way through to Ms.Selfridge, where she got her top, and I got my long black dress for $51. Her motto was :Squeeze so much better get something. -_-'''
Had to queue for freaking long to try it on and pay. By the time 3 of us got out we were absolutely drained and sapped of all energy.
Went to Taka to get nibbles and finally went home. Crazy shit I'm not doing it again. Shows how Singaporeans really like sales huh? And I hate those idiots who shove and push like the clothes are all free!
Plus the news-digging insensitive reporters in Streats and TNP. And I was considering journalism. What the heck.
Anyway. Long day today. Celebrations at home, gotta prepare my shepard's pie..yummmy. Hmm think I'm going to church this evening, not mentioning the work I have to do before that.
Later.
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